A —

Daylight is short this time of year. I find myself yawning into the early evening, my eyes believing it night. In the dark it can be hard to be still. The night roads call to me; begging me to break free. I am tired of the yawning and the fits of stagnation. I want to live my life in upper case letters. I want to run to the edge of the abyss and jump. I do not want to fear the unknown.

I have so much fear.

I fear that people will forget me. That they will stop loving me. I can’t tell you why. My parents showered me with love. I never had trouble making friends. I have had a good life. Still, the fear is there. It slinks in on soft feet, watching from just beyond the shadows. It observes me — waiting for me to let my guard down so it can enact maximum damage.

And what’s worst is I am the fear.

I am the one who allows it all to happen. I am the one who creates the thoughts that trigger the worry; the darkness. I lost one to the shadows today. He was there at the edge. I tried to coax him in, but my light was too bright. Its okay though, some things are better left behind.

So let us raise a toast to the ones we left behind. We are better for it.

Until next time,